Trials and Tribulations

This week is off from recording, Tim has a conference! I’m catching up on some housekeeping, errands, promo for the Project, etc. So a couple weeks ago I almost gave up. Scrapped everything. “Tim, we’ve got to shelf it.” Artist=swept away by emotion I guess. I was feeling stressed about raising funds, doubting my worth, wanting to just quit and give up the album and music. It was like a storm of discouragement and negative thoughts came and battered me for a week. The biggest frustration was feeling insignificant. Insignificant musically, to the world, etc. But my faith got me through, and I read my trusty bible and the storm passed. But, truthfully if there were no project managers/support team and project members to keep me accountable, I would have run away and hid in a cave. Thankfully, I’m not alone! What causes stress? Well for one, feeling as if every note is final, down for posterity. Trusting another human being to bring the songs to fruition (still working on this one Tim, but I’m getting better, no?). Wondering if my stuff is really good or just ‘good’, though I know I don’t suck. Fearing that I’m wasting everyone’s money and time. Though the technical process or recording itself hasn’t been stressful, it’s these general questions about my identity and future as a musician that press upon me. It’s times like these I wish I was a driven, ambitious, slightly obnoxious but well-meaning diva. I’d get so much done! I know we all go through these times. It’s part of being human. Thanks for reading.